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“This book made me happy in the first five pages.” —AJ Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible
Award-winning author Gretchen Rubin is back with a bang, with The Happiness Project. The author of the bestselling 40 Ways to Look at Winston Churchill has produced a work that is “a cross between the Dalai Lama’s The Art of Happiness and Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love.” (Sonya Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want) In the vein of Julie and Julia, The Happiness Project describes one person’s year-long attempt to discover what leads to true contentment. Drawing at once on cutting-edge science, classical philosophy, and real-world applicability, Rubin has written an engaging, eminently relatable chronicle of transformation.
- Sales Rank: #1438450 in Books
- Published on: 2011-10-25
- Released on: 2011-10-25
- Format: International Edition
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 6.75" h x .92" w x 4.19" l, .25 pounds
- Binding: Mass Market Paperback
- 368 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. Rubin is not an unhappy woman: she has a loving husband, two great kids and a writing career in New York City. Still, she could-and, arguably, should-be happier. Thus, her methodical (and bizarre) happiness project: spend one year achieving careful, measurable goals in different areas of life (marriage, work, parenting, self-fulfillment) and build on them cumulatively, using concrete steps (such as, in January, going to bed earlier, exercising better, getting organized, and "acting more energetic"). By December, she's striving bemusedly to keep increasing happiness in every aspect of her life. The outcome is good, not perfect (in accordance with one of her "Secrets of Adulthood": "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good"), but Rubin's funny, perceptive account is both inspirational and forgiving, and sprinkled with just enough wise tips, concrete advice and timely research (including all those other recent books on happiness) to qualify as self-help. Defying self-help expectations, however, Rubin writes with keen senses of self and narrative, balancing the personal and the universal with a light touch. Rubin's project makes curiously compulsive reading, which is enough to make any reader happy.
Review
“An enlightening, laugh-aloud read. . . . Filled with open, honest glimpses into [Rubin’s] real life, woven together with constant doses of humor.” (Terry Hong, Christian Science Monitor)
“For those who generally loathe the self-help genre, Rubin’s book is a breath of peppermint-scented air. Well-researched and sharply written. . . . Rubin takes an orderly, methodical approach to forging her own path to a happier state of mind.” (Kim Crow, Cleveland Plain Dealer)
“Practical and never preachy . . . the rare self-help tome that doesn’t feel shameful to read.” (Daily Beast)
“Packed with fascinating facts about the science of happiness and rich examples of how she improves her life through changes small and big The Happiness Project made me happier by just reading it.” (Amy Scribner, Bookpage)
From the Back Cover
“Wonderful. . . . Rubin shows how you can be happier, starting right now, with small, actionable steps accessible to everyone.” —Julie Morgenstern, New York Times bestselling author of Organizing from the Inside Out
Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. “The days are long, but the years are short,” she realized. “Time is passing, and I’m not focusing enough on the things that really matter.” In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project.
In this lively and compelling account—now updated with new material by the author—Rubin chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. Among other things, she found that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that money can help buy happiness, when spent wisely; that outer order contributes to inner calm; and that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference.
“An enlightening, laugh-aloud read.”—Christian Science Monitor
This updated edition includes:
������ A new extensive interview with the author
������ Secrets of Adulthood
������ An excerpt from Gretchen Rubin’s new book, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits—to Sleep More,�Quit Sugar,�Procrastinate Less,�and Generally Build a Happier Life
Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
I really identified with her findings
By Angela Risner The Sassy Orange
Yes, I'm four years behind on finding this book, but I'm so glad that I finally caught up!
I don't think this book needs a synopsis at this point - at 780 reviews and counting, it's been done. I'll just cover what I enjoyed about it.
I think what makes Rubin's writing so appealing is that she admits that she isn't perfect; she's not afraid to show her ugly side instead of painting a picture of sunshine and rainbows. I really identified with her when she spoke about wishing she would like something because others did. I have often wished I:
•Was a morning person
•Could be the person who picks out her outfits the night before
•Could be the person who picks out her outfits for the week on Sundays and prepared them
•Wrapped gifts beautifully
•Could drive without ever getting upset with another driver
•Save money
•Enjoyed volunteering
•Cared if my bag matched my shoes
•Enjoyed going to see rock bands
•Enjoyed making my own smoothies everyday
•Enjoyed the raw food diet
But I'm not any of those things. I have accepted that I will likely always be a night person, that I made the right decision to sell my Vitamix (after only using it a handful of times over 2 years), and that I would rather donate money then have to show up at a place at an assigned time to volunteer. This is who I am, and that's okay - the world needs me and the world needs the person who is all of the things I'm not.
Favorite moments from the book:
•What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
•You don't have to be good at everything.
•With extrinsic motivation, people act to win external rewards or avoid external punishments; with intrinsic motivation, people act for their own satisfaction. Studies show that if you reward people for doing an activity, they often stop doing it for fun; being paid turns it into "work."
•The repetitive activity of walking, studies who, triggers the body's relaxation response and so helps reduce stress; at the same time, even a quick ten-minute walk provides an immediate energy boost and improves mood - in fact, exercises is an effective way to snap out of a funk.
•Also, having few clothing choices made me feel happier. Although people believe they like to have lots of choice, in fact, having too many choices can be discouraging. Instead of making people feel more satisfied, a wide range of options can paralyze them.
•I'd been self-righteously telling myself that I did certain chores or made certain efforts "for Jamie" or "for the team." Though this sounded generous, it led to a bad result, because I sulked when Jamie didn't appreciate my efforts. Instead, I started to tell myself, "I'm doing this for myself. This is what I want."
•Perhaps because men have this low standard for what qualifies as intimacy, both men and women find relationships with women to be more enjoyable than those with men. In fact, for both men and women, the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women. Time spent with men doesn't make a difference.
•Learning that men and women both turn to women for understanding showed me that Jamie wasn't ignoring me out of lack of interest or affection; he just wasn't good at giving that kind of support.
•I've never forgotten something I read in college, by Pierre Reverdy: "There is no love; there are only proofs of love." Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only my actions.
•"Feeling right" is about living the life that's right for you - in occupation, location, marital status, and so on.
•When thinking about happiness in marriage, you may have an almost irresistible impulse to focus on your spouse, to emphasize how he or she should change in order to boost your happiness. But the fact is, you can't change anyone but yourself.
•"Between the ages of twenty and forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity." (Auden)
•Studies show that people tend to persevere longer with problems they've been told are difficult as opposed to easy.
•In fact, researchers reported that out of fifteen daily activities, they found only one during which people were happier alone rather than with other people - and that was praying.
•Studies show that because of this psychological phenomenon, people unintentionally transfer to me the traits I ascribe to other people. So if I tell Jean that Pat is arrogant, unconsciously Jean associates that quality with me...What I say about other people sticks to me - even when I talk to someone who already knows me.
•I'd noticed idly that a lot of people use the term "goal" instead of "resolution," and one day in December, it struck me that the difference was in fact significant. You hit a goal, you keep a resolution.
Needless to say, I identified with a lot of what she wrote. I loved the book. Rubin also has a website where you can download examples of her resolution charts.
Highly recommend.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Better books available same genre...
By daveonbass
I read a lot of spiritual/self help books... it's pretty much the only thing I read other than biographies & autobiographies. This book has been in my "on-deck" pile for a long time. Interesting enough that I made it through the entire book (I'll give up on a book that doesn't grab my attention - too many books, too little time), but barely. If you're looking for a book in this genre, I'd go elsewhere, there are many other books better than this one. That being said, I did read the whole book and overall I liked it. But as I was reading I kept thinking "should I keep going here?"...
She quotes studies a lot, like: "Studies show that (fill in the blank)... but never really gives us any background as to what study was done or anything like that. Left me wondering where she reads all these studies to just know all that stuff. Studies show that when books quote studies without any correlating evidence of what, when or where the studies were they might have little basis in reality :)
Bottom line: I won't go out of my way to read anything else she's published and I'm really happy to be done and moving onto my next book, so... if the happiest part of the book is the fact that I can move on - well, three stars.
I recommend Wayne Dyer's "Wishes Fulfilled" or Brenden Burchard's "Motivation Manifesto" as better alternatives (IMO)...
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Candid, Enjoyable, Actionable.
By Emily Blake Muhoberac
I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
PROS:
- Writing style. While she does (sometimes) cite sources for her research, most of her examples are based on her own experiences or people she knows.
- Clear, actionable steps. While this book wholly centers around Gretchen's version of happiness, she clearly lays out the actions/steps she took to improve her quality of life. If you have a similar Type A personality (like me), you would find these steps actionable.
CONS:
- Some of the information seemed like common sense. However, it did prompt me to further examine my life and realize that I wasn't following my own intuition.
- I see many people writing negative reviews based on her entitlement (Manhattan apartment, rich husband, Yale, etc.). If you find yourself frequently comparing your trauma to others, this book may not be for you. People of all walks of life can be unhappy, but if you're going to be focused on the comparison
- I doubt her actionable steps would translate to all people. Gretchen is very, very, very goal-oriented (and self-aware of that), so much of her advice is centered around achievement and organization. I am of a similar personality type, so I very much enjoyed it.
One thing to note: I'm 24 years old, and maybe much of this information lives in other self-help books. This is the first book I've read on happiness.
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